We had our second games trial in ECP today. Finally the corporate retreat is scheduled to be on 8 and 9 of Sept in Batam. Hope the retreat is gonna be fun.

The comm had been putting in lots of effort coming up with the games. Well, if everyone enjoys themselves, then our efforts would not be in vain.

We had a talk on Saturday. As expected, she had made up her mind to end the relationship. Its not just a problem with the mum, but also the fact that she cannot give up what she's having now, a 5k salary, a car, living in a big house and the other perks of working for the mum. She couldn't imagine living in a HDB, taking public transport to work and thinking twice before buying that handphone or camera. I'm disappointed but yet I don't blame her. How many of us can actually say they will give up whatever they have now for a relationship?

Well, it did not end on a sour note though, we promised to be friends, best friends and we still left our joint account active. The more rational people would call me a fool, why hold on to someone who's that materialistic? Is material comfort reall that important to her? Perhaps, that's the harsh reality I have to face. We are living, afterall, in a society where money talks, no matter what people say. Love can conquer all? Thats bullshit, happens in those lousy Taiwan or Korean soap operas, not in reality, at least not in Singapore. I agree but I guess I'm a sentimental fool, still hoping that there's still a slightest chance that we will get back together.

I offered to terminate our joint account but she said to leave it and jokingly said we could earn some interest. I was like duh? How could a break up be complete if we do not close the account?

I accompanied her to Toa Payoh as she did not drive. She was supposed to meet some friends to attend the funeral wake of some friend's grandma (Yeah and the funeral of our love). In the MRT, she said she was feeling cold so I wrappped my arms round her shoulders.

Just as she was about to alight, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked me to go look for another girlfriend and to let her know if I find one. Duh? Why in the world would she ever want to know? I sure as hell do not want her telling me, 'Hey, I got a boyfriend'. She kissed me on the lips (for the last time) and then got off the train and I was alone, enroute home.

My heart was crying but no tears came. Memories came in waves, flooding my mind. Its as if I'm watching a movie backwards and forward. Being out of love sure feels shitty.

My hear is bleeding now, time will heal all wounds, however deep it may be. Or so I heard. Feeling damn lousy right now, and I guess its just gonna get much worse over the next few days, espcially the weekends. Argh, this sucks...

My heart is bleeding as I start this blog. A 2-and-a-half-year relationship is coming to an end. And all because her mum insists that I'm not the one for her, or so she said.

The whole thing seems like a scene right out from one of those Taiwan soap operas. Boy likes girl who comes from a rich family. They ended up together, thinking that they could beat the odds and live happily after. Then evil mum tries all means to break them up. Slowly, Girl can't take the pressure anymore. Girl told Boy that she's giving up what they have painstakingly built over the past 2 years. Girl assures Boy that its not because of any 3rd party, but Boy knows better. Evil mum is not the only reason. Besides, Girl has been dropping hints that Boy either failed or refused to catch. Girl did mentioned to him that there are guys interested in her. Girl smsing one of the guys when she's with Boy. She even said something along the line of 'If anything were to happen, it will be better to happen in courtship than in marriage.'

It has been a month since she initiated to break up over the phone. She hardly calls anymore and only sms me when I sms her. The tone was cold and distant. We agreed to meet and talk things out but she's always busy.

ME: 'Hi. How's everything?' --- Lame question. What did I expect the answer to be?
HER: 'Ok... busy' --- I was like, umm that's all?
ME: 'Any chance of having lunch and dinner this week?'
HER: 'I dunno, I'll let you know again k?' --- The call never came.

Friends offered different advice. Some told me to hang on. Talk to her, let her know your
feelings and your thoughts. Afterall you guys have been together for so long and you always look so happy together.

Others said to let go. The road ahead is too difficult and her mum is always gonna be the problem.

I thought of hanging on too. I kept thinking of all those happy moments that we shared. But the reality is, the girl I know has changed. If mum is really the problem and if she loves me like she said she does, then why is she avoiding me and why had she suddenly turned into a stranger?

I dunno if my gut feelings are correct or am I being over sensitive, that she might already had fallen for someone else. Last night, I dropped her a long email, baring my inner most feelings about us. She has not replied.

I told her in the email that I will be waiting for her at a designated place at a designated time. If she turns up, then we will have that overdue talk and maybe we'll be able to work things out. If she doesn't, then I guess I will have to let her go, though painful as it might be.

Labels: Love