The last and final bit before I close that chapter of my life for good.
Geez, didn't realise I can come out with something like this:

I love you with all my heart
And yet you said we have to part
I thought you are the one for me
And forever in love we will be
My heart breaks when I see you cry
As you begin to tell me why
You said we could still be friends
And this is how you want it to end
Now I'm all alone again
As I walk along the memory lane
The ups and downs we had once shared
All that remains of the tears you shed

Just heard from Danny that Alvin's mum had passed away from cancer.
Came as great shock as I can still recall seeing her last year during Alvin's wedding.
It seems that she was feeling unwell at the time but refused to see a doctor as everyone was busy preparing for the joyous occassion. It was already to late when she finally went for consultation.

Although I'm not really close to Alvin or his mum, but it's always sad that someone you know, however remotely has passed on.

Hope she's blessed wih happiness and free from earthly pains, wherever she is now and my deepest condolenses to Alvin and his family.

Just realised that the title of my blog entries dun get to appear in this skin that I have selected. Just for today, I'll broadcast the title of this entry:

Just what the fuck do you expect me to say?!?!?
You cld say that I have had enuf of all this ... Really, do I deserve all this after all the time and mental resolution I have taken to get over it? An excerpt of the msn messages I got this morning:

She: eh... i have something to tell u lei?

Me (totally unsuspecting): ya? wat is it?

She: (name censored) is attached again?

Me: Congrats! (huh? wat the fuck are u telling me for?)

She: u not angwee? (wat do u think? do u expect me to be popping champagne for u?)

Me: erm, wat i feel isn't important, i'm glad that u managed to find happiness again (must act tough mah)

She: then you will be happy too? (wat is there for me to be happy about?)

Me: i'm just glad u managed to find someone u like, but if u really think he's the one for u, then fight like hell to be with him k? (a hint of sacarsm, her reply next totally had me totally KO-ed)

She: =) think no need fight cuz my parents know him for very long liao... they even sourcing for venues for the wedding, so i guess they quite like him (someone just run a fucking knife thru me???)

Me: ok then, glad everything turned out ok for u... (is this ever gonna end?)

She: just scared that u will be upset mah... dun b k?

Me: (simply refused to answer anymore....)

I know she's not trying to be mean, but hell, can be more sensitive or not? So wat if I tell you I'm really boiling inside? Will that change anything? So just what kinda reaction are you expecting from me?

Depending on whose side an outsider is on, some may tell me she needs some form of response from me, any form of negativism ... on the other hand, some may tell me that she had succeeded in opening up an old wound and even rubbing in a bit of salt in the process...

What do I think? There is a limit to how graceful one can be in this kinda situation. Call it a man's ego, but why the hell should I continue to be graceful and drive myself nuts in the process?
Geez, right now, I just wanna get her out of my life but I guess that would be difficult due to our common friends... Dun really know how to react if the next thing to happen is for her to send me an invitation card for her wedding...

Outer Dennis vs Inner Dennis: the ultimate question: To attend or not to attend?

Am I over-reacting? Maybe I am but heck, my blog, my perogative on how I wanna vent my emotions...