We had a talk on Saturday. As expected, she had made up her mind to end the relationship. Its not just a problem with the mum, but also the fact that she cannot give up what she's having now, a 5k salary, a car, living in a big house and the other perks of working for the mum. She couldn't imagine living in a HDB, taking public transport to work and thinking twice before buying that handphone or camera. I'm disappointed but yet I don't blame her. How many of us can actually say they will give up whatever they have now for a relationship?

Well, it did not end on a sour note though, we promised to be friends, best friends and we still left our joint account active. The more rational people would call me a fool, why hold on to someone who's that materialistic? Is material comfort reall that important to her? Perhaps, that's the harsh reality I have to face. We are living, afterall, in a society where money talks, no matter what people say. Love can conquer all? Thats bullshit, happens in those lousy Taiwan or Korean soap operas, not in reality, at least not in Singapore. I agree but I guess I'm a sentimental fool, still hoping that there's still a slightest chance that we will get back together.

I offered to terminate our joint account but she said to leave it and jokingly said we could earn some interest. I was like duh? How could a break up be complete if we do not close the account?

I accompanied her to Toa Payoh as she did not drive. She was supposed to meet some friends to attend the funeral wake of some friend's grandma (Yeah and the funeral of our love). In the MRT, she said she was feeling cold so I wrappped my arms round her shoulders.

Just as she was about to alight, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked me to go look for another girlfriend and to let her know if I find one. Duh? Why in the world would she ever want to know? I sure as hell do not want her telling me, 'Hey, I got a boyfriend'. She kissed me on the lips (for the last time) and then got off the train and I was alone, enroute home.

My heart was crying but no tears came. Memories came in waves, flooding my mind. Its as if I'm watching a movie backwards and forward. Being out of love sure feels shitty.

My hear is bleeding now, time will heal all wounds, however deep it may be. Or so I heard. Feeling damn lousy right now, and I guess its just gonna get much worse over the next few days, espcially the weekends. Argh, this sucks...